jats:pThis article examines the utopian imaginary of two survival television shows: Born Survivor and Extreme Survival. These programs focus on the attempts by survival experts Bear Grylls and Ray Mears to remain alive in the wilderness. After considering the place of survival television in the history of nature documentaries and its articulation of a “primitive” form of masculinity, it is argued that the genre elaborates a neoliberal form of utopia. Survival television dovetails with the shadowy side of neoliberalism, ennobling a precarious, self-punishing mode of existence in which one struggles to maintain one’s present position rather than improve it. Yet, drawing on a widely shared meme featuring Grylls, I conclude by suggesting that the conservative effect of survival television is tempered by the exaggerated nature of Grylls’s performance, which offers a glimpse into how survival might be perceived from a genuinely utopian future.</jats:p>