Many of my computer science students, and even some teaching colleagues, struggle to recognise the epistemological distinction between the words quantitative and objective. As they work on their research dissertations, inventing the software technologies that will become the basis of the next generation of mobile apps, social media start-ups, and internet infrastructure, they are cautioned that their design work must be evaluated quantitatively. This advice is taken very seriously, even where the goals of the project might be health (quantified), empathetic emotion (quantified), creative arts (quantified), or personal trust and security (naturally, quantified). The conflation of quantification with objectivity can lead to faintly ridiculous research conventions.