The quantum theory of fields is largely based on studying perturbations around noninteracting, or free, field theories, which correspond to a collection of quantum-mechanical harmonic oscillators. The quantum theory of an ordinary fluid is "freer", in the sense that the noninteracting theory also contains an infinite collection of quantum-mechanical free particles, corresponding to vortex modes. By computing a variety of correlation functions at tree and loop level, we give evidence that a quantum perfect fluid can be consistently formulated as a low-energy, effective field theory. We speculate that the quantum behavior is radically different from both classical fluids and quantum fields.